run on sentences

  I wish I could send you the smell Of running in the spring Lilacs , freshly cut grasses in all those places You and I used to run and then walk  Early on Sunday mornings Until you moved and then you fell And couldn't do it any longer at 94 I run by the S curve, the mascara house  And the place you said prostitutes probably lived Familiar places we ran by until you couldn't I think of you and your last marathon at 81 Your last half at 89 and how proud you were Other runners wanted their picture taken with you,  The oldest half marathoner they knew  They were inspired, we all were There were then a lot of 5k and 10k runs still left The last senior games at 94 would by your last After having done every single one since they began You fell and hurt your head and didn’t remember I saw you a few times in that nursing home One last time in February before Covid You were walking fast  with your walker around the other patients Some had vacant stares, others were ...

The little old man Stood his ground Proudly despite outliving several other humans Not loved enough until he met Charlene And was fed Biscotti and allowed To lick the bowl after rice pudding And sleep in her bed On Monday nights when I visited I took him for walks  he trotted, happy to be outside Peed, but then came in and peed again On Charlene’s garbage can  His worried, opaque eyes followed her Into the bathroom and then  While she lay dying  He slept by her  side, not wanting to leave her Char wanted us to euthanize him so they  Would not be separated in death But he had more life to live Even though he had no teeth and he was worn  Like the velveteen rabbit His worried eyes at her funeral seemed to beg me For one last chance And I took him home  Where he loved Toby and romped like a lamb In the backyard Until he deemed it was his time I never got him a name tag Thinking that he would never go far without me Now I know he was never mine  ...

I didn’t know how much my mom loved her grandchildren Till I had my own The first one, newly born when I held him Looked up at me with the eyes of my son who looked at me in a new way with his own eyes Already showing so much love Scarlett’s relief, and how beautiful she looked Even after so many hours of labor “I can’t believe she wants to eat” Billy said in wonderment That once the baby came out the pain stopped And the joy began I felt my mom’s presence that day Knowing she kissed him on the forehead  And sent him here probably with some admonition Like, “be nice” or “it will be better in the morning” Later Roman arrived  We weren’t there but I spent all day knitting, waiting I saw the pictures  Of Desmond greeting him with amazement His eyes wide,  hand in front of his mouth When I held him he was a few weeks old His contented look foretold of his future cheer Arms and legs practicing their movement In the sunlight in that bright room in Bogotá And that dimple, ...

I was thinking that once someone, an old boyfriend?  My young husband? Once told me  “You make me want to be a better person” I saw it written out in cursive handwriting On a card with hearts, a valentine Or maybe it was a birthday Then I realized it was Jack Nicholson who said it To Helen Hunt in the movie “As good as it gets” Damn  - I laughed out loud And yet there is  a sense of regret Of wishing to leave a mark But maybe I failed Do people notice me at 7 am Walking my old dogs up the street at a very slow pace And do they miss me when I don’t ? Is it the staying home  The anonymity of wearing a mask, my lipsticked lips  Leaving a mark on the inside Is this why I wonder about my mark in the world Maybe people go through life not knowing If they made life good f or someone Then, I think of 135,000 people in the US And many more in the world Dead of Covid 19 And I know there is a big big hole In the lives of those who loved them May we never stop trying...

I am not racist, I always told myself I was in first grade in 1960 When Ruby Bridges, escorted by federal marshalls Was the first black child to go to an all white school. I didn’t know about her My town was filled with everyone who looked like me Blonde, blue eyed white, freckled by the sun I was ten when the civil rights act passed It was a time when we had black licorice candy  Called Nigger babies And Mrs. Butterworth syrup in its bottle Shaped like a stout, kind black mammy. The scandal of a very blonde and pale Mae Britt Marrying a contrasting dark Sammy Davis Junior I remember seeing their picture  In my mom’s Photoplay magazine I was 12 before I saw a negro, What we called a black person then My sister and I went to Milwaukee in the late 60’s I had never been to such a big city I wrote in my diary that I was afraid of the large dark men  That I saw for the first time I didn’t understand why I was afraid No one ...

I am sorry,  my short, but sturdy legs The legs of my mother, well turned ankles and calf muscles  that draw compliments from other runners  Sorry I didn’t listen to you when you gently told me  “Look we are older and we have carried you through many marathons St. George.  New York.  Boston, twice  Please, we beg you to lower your expectations We got back into shape after a broken fibula Torn tendons and meniscuses But you want to keep going  And deny us rest so we can heal Give us a break  (no pun intended) Rest,  Ice.  Elevate Respect our years and be proud Your age group in races is getting smaller and smaller   We will keep you running If you just accept the slowing down We will hold you up as long as we can My strong legs, I am sorry I only noticed your wrinkled skin  and the ache from sciatica And the knee pain, persistent, tolerable, it will abate I am sorry I st...

Toby and I ran today Clouds and daffodils The smell of lilacs air made clean by social distancing And my dad, I sense him near, Led the way on this perfect day A gentle rain came from those innocent clouds Splattered on the pavement  Toby shook it off As dogs do, didn't seem to notice Wet hair don’t care -soggy shoes  Spotted sunglasses All a small price to pay  For the smell of grateful trees and grass The smell of my dad Flannel shirt and sawdust collected in the cuffs of his pants And later spilled on my mom's kitchen floor His eyes, blue like the sky mirrored his apologies The sun peeked out   I looked for a rainbow And found it in the open tulips