don't let them take your flowers
I woke up at 4:40 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I wondered why I had tears on my face and then remembered the dream that woke me up. I was at work and had purchased three big arrangements of flowers for my friend Mary Alice. But when I went to get them from my office all the flowers had been taken and only the green leafy parts of the arrangements were left. Everything that made the arrangement pretty was gone.
I was angry and went out to the desk to ask about my flowers. "We needed them for patients" I was told. "They were for the kids". Someone from another department even took some for another employee telling me "You can just get reimbursed". No one seemed to think it was a big deal that I had bought them to make someone else happy.
"They were for Mary Alice" I kept saying. But no one listened.
Why was this such a disturbing dream - I guess because for me it offered an epiphany. I had to look up the definition of this word because even though I knew I wanted to use it, I wanted to make sure it fit.
"a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure"
It's probably not a secret that I left my job before I really planned to. I meant it when I told people it was the right thing to do - and I still believe it. However, my policy of "never let them see you bleed" may not have been a good one. A person can only play Polyanna for so long. Obviously I still have some work to do if my dreams are any indication - this was not the first of my "work dreams" but it was the most disturbing to me.
Along with my "never let 'em see you bleed" rule, I have a rule about not discussing work stuff or bitching about my life on this blog. My life is good. I blame no one. OK maybe I blame myself a little for letting people take all my flowers. But I am ready to plant new ones.
I was angry and went out to the desk to ask about my flowers. "We needed them for patients" I was told. "They were for the kids". Someone from another department even took some for another employee telling me "You can just get reimbursed". No one seemed to think it was a big deal that I had bought them to make someone else happy.
"They were for Mary Alice" I kept saying. But no one listened.
Why was this such a disturbing dream - I guess because for me it offered an epiphany. I had to look up the definition of this word because even though I knew I wanted to use it, I wanted to make sure it fit.
"a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure"
It's probably not a secret that I left my job before I really planned to. I meant it when I told people it was the right thing to do - and I still believe it. However, my policy of "never let them see you bleed" may not have been a good one. A person can only play Polyanna for so long. Obviously I still have some work to do if my dreams are any indication - this was not the first of my "work dreams" but it was the most disturbing to me.
Along with my "never let 'em see you bleed" rule, I have a rule about not discussing work stuff or bitching about my life on this blog. My life is good. I blame no one. OK maybe I blame myself a little for letting people take all my flowers. But I am ready to plant new ones.
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