run on sentences

So this post won't make any sense to anyone but direct family members...but come to think of it, maybe a lot of my posts don't make much sense anyway to the three people who might read them.  And why am I making excuses for what I am about to write?  I don't know.  Forget I said anything.  This is great.  My family is great.  My blog is great.  My delusional self talk is great. A few weeks ago, Kseniya and I were texting back and forth.  We had just returned from Dan's medical school graduation in Chicago (another post at another time - coming soon) and we had gone to a Cub's game.  It was freezing there and if it were not for Dan's girlfriend who lent us an assortment of hoodies, we would have been more uncomfortable.  She said she was well stocked up on hoodies because she is always cold - I can relate to that. Freezing at the Cubs game - but loving it!  Anyway we were talking about the Cub's game and I said: "We should ...

Today I set out on my Saturday run around 8:15 am. It was already about 65 degrees.   I should have started out earlier but if I am running by myself, I have a hard time doing that even though most days I am up at 530 or 6 a.m. My once large Saturday running group has dwindled down to just me most days. I wasn't sure how far I would go – usually it depends on how I feel.  I play funny games like if I find a coin on the road, I use it as a sign that I have to go further than usual. Today I didn't find any coins but I used a different measure – seeing people I know. During the first mile, I saw my friend Julie and her husband riding their bikes – packed and ready to go somewhere.  Julie used to run with me until she got painful hips. Seeing them made me vow to go at least 6 miles. Then at mile 6, I saw another friend, Eileen, also riding her bike. “I will go at least 7 miles”, I said to myself or maybe I said it out loud. I am not sur...

Every year on the first day of June, I think of parts of a poem I had to memorize years ago in school: And what is so rare as a day in June if ever come perfect days And heaven follows earth if it be in tune And over it softly her warm ear lays Whether we look or whether we listen We can hear life murmur and see it glisten Today as I started my run on a beautiful first day of June, this lovely poem once again came to my mind. I was feeling sad for a reason unknown to me – sad enough to feel tears go down my sweaty face at about mile 3 of my ten mile run. Someone once told me that if you feel inexplicably sad, look at your calendar. I realized that tomorrow would have been my 38 th year at my former job. On June 2 nd 1975 I walked up the hill to the first day of what would be my lifelong career. I was 21 years old and a long way from home but I had my first nursing job. 35 1/2 years later, on January 7 th 2011, I closed the door to my offi...

Today I ran at noon.  I am usually a morning runner but I barely passed the coffee test this morning (coffee test  = waking up feeling like crap + drinking coffee and feeling better = passed).  Sore throat, runny nose, ear stuffed with stuffing because last week I had the drum repaired for the third time - and I am not supposed to blow my nose or cough or sneeze.  Anyway I felt better after coffee and sudafed.  I knew I would feel better if I ran.  I put my running clothes on which caused the dogs to be excited cause they might get to go for a walk.  I walked them, thinking that this was better than doing nothing - 2.5 miles.  I felt a little better after that but I knew I would. After doing my stay at home mom stuff including washing bedding, hanging it on clothesline and vacuuming it was getting close to 11am.  Strangely I could not bring myself to take a shower which to me was a sign that I still had to make myself run.  Strangely...

I have weird dreams.  Some of them are so bad that I don't share them with others, and they cause me to question my sanity or lack thereof.  Like the one where my calf muscles really weren't muscles but Orio cookies nicely stashed inside the back of my leg. My most recent weird dream involved my grandpa Ojanen - my dad's dad.  He died when he was 94 and was a strong Finnish man of few words - but a wise man who worked hard his entire life after leaving Finland when he was 18 as a result of a fight with his drunk father.  He swore he would never return to Finland and never did, leaving behind a twin brother and other siblings we never met.  Instead he settled in Greenland, MI and later in Mudd Creek, after building a home and a farm there and raising a family - the youngest who became my dad.  I was closer to grandpa (despite that he would not let me drive a tractor because I was "just a girl") than my grandma Ojanen, who was not very affectionate and seem...

Last week I was in Winston Salem, North Carolina, at this great place called the Graylyn.  I was at a meeting, but that's not important to this blog - not really - or at least this is not what this post is about - I will save it for another time.  My room was originally a horse stable.  That's not so important either.  It was a nice room with rock walls and a long weird area where if I was so inclined, I could have practiced yoga.  On the last morning of the meeting, I woke up at 5:45 to the alarm on my not smart phone.  I set the alarm cause I wanted to go running.   I have just gotten back into it after the shoulder surgery.  But when I woke up I didn't want to go even though I wanted to go.   My meeting started at 8.  I didn't have coffee in the room and I need my coffee before running.  I had a Crown Royale and Coke (fancy crabby juice) and a few glasses of wine with dinner and my head was a little sore and my throat parched....

I have been trying to complete this entry for the past month, since having surgery on my shoulder.  Everything  I wrote sounded self- pitying and I am not good at that.  At least not outwardly, and who wants to read stuff about how I can't run, can't style my limp hair, can't drive,  etc, etc.  Some people have it a lot worse, my mama taught me. March has always sucked for my sister and me.  Our mom died on the 10th, and our dad would have been 88 on the 17th.  Siggie died last year on the 28th.  So the shoulder thing and my lack of being able to run added to the general gloom.  That's enough of the moping though.  Slowly I am getting better.  Still have the sling and have to sleep in the basement in the recliner.  Yeah, I can't run but can ride the stationary bike and get some exercise to keep my once perfect ass from spreading from too much sitting.  I can walk the dogs with one arm.  Lot's of people, friends and...