at least I will be able to crochet
I have been trying to complete this entry for the past month, since having surgery on my shoulder. Everything I wrote sounded self- pitying and I am not good at that. At least not outwardly, and who wants to read stuff about how I can't run, can't style my limp hair, can't drive, etc, etc. Some people have it a lot worse, my mama taught me.
March has always sucked for my sister and me. Our mom died on the 10th, and our dad would have been 88 on the 17th. Siggie died last year on the 28th. So the shoulder thing and my lack of being able to run added to the general gloom. That's enough of the moping though.
Slowly I am getting better. Still have the sling and have to sleep in the basement in the recliner. Yeah, I can't run but can ride the stationary bike and get some exercise to keep my once perfect ass from spreading from too much sitting. I can walk the dogs with one arm. Lot's of people, friends and family, care about me and I am grateful to hear my sister's chuckle on the phone when I talk to her. It's my dad's chuckle and makes me smile every time I hear it. My sister also has the hands of my father, short, strong and capable. I have his blue eyes. I am not sure where I got the puny arms from. My brother also has dad's blue eyes, his charm and unfortunately, his alcoholic gene.
I have decided I am not good at just letting myself be. I have to work on that. I should just sit and watch old movies and the episodes of Nurse Jackie that my daughter sent me. I should really tell people how I feel instead of pretending. But most people who ask "how are you?" don't really want to know.
The good thing about March is always the 1/2 marathon in Moab. Of course I couldn't run. I didn't want to disturb the three $1000 (each) anchors that keeps my shoulder together after all. But, I did walk the 5 mile run and was amazed at how much I enjoyed it and the scenery and the lack of stress in not trying to compete with myself to improve my time. I was proud that it felt like a piece of cake to walk five miles.
When I awoke in the recovery room, after the surgery, I asked the nurse, "Will I be able to crochet?"
"Sure, probably in a few weeks" she answered, in her positive post op voice.
"Good because I never could do it before", I said.
March has always sucked for my sister and me. Our mom died on the 10th, and our dad would have been 88 on the 17th. Siggie died last year on the 28th. So the shoulder thing and my lack of being able to run added to the general gloom. That's enough of the moping though.
Slowly I am getting better. Still have the sling and have to sleep in the basement in the recliner. Yeah, I can't run but can ride the stationary bike and get some exercise to keep my once perfect ass from spreading from too much sitting. I can walk the dogs with one arm. Lot's of people, friends and family, care about me and I am grateful to hear my sister's chuckle on the phone when I talk to her. It's my dad's chuckle and makes me smile every time I hear it. My sister also has the hands of my father, short, strong and capable. I have his blue eyes. I am not sure where I got the puny arms from. My brother also has dad's blue eyes, his charm and unfortunately, his alcoholic gene.
I have decided I am not good at just letting myself be. I have to work on that. I should just sit and watch old movies and the episodes of Nurse Jackie that my daughter sent me. I should really tell people how I feel instead of pretending. But most people who ask "how are you?" don't really want to know.
The good thing about March is always the 1/2 marathon in Moab. Of course I couldn't run. I didn't want to disturb the three $1000 (each) anchors that keeps my shoulder together after all. But, I did walk the 5 mile run and was amazed at how much I enjoyed it and the scenery and the lack of stress in not trying to compete with myself to improve my time. I was proud that it felt like a piece of cake to walk five miles.
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| Hard to keep a tough Finn with SISU down |
"Sure, probably in a few weeks" she answered, in her positive post op voice.
"Good because I never could do it before", I said.
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