my feet are sock snobs
The other day, I happened to hear my toes talking to each other when I was digging through the sock drawer looking for a pair of socks to wear.
"God I hope she isn't gonna choose those acrylic socks. I hate them. They make us sweat. It's bad enough that our nails look like someone has been chewing on them", said my left foot.
"Well at least some of you have nails", my little toes said almost in unison. "She killed ours in all those marathons".
My big toes heartily agreed with this but pointed out that the nails on their toes had grown back.
"Yeah but look how weird you big toes look with that dab of raisin colored nail polish left on from last August" the little toes said defensively.
"I think we can all agree on the smart wool socks", my right big toe, who seemed to be leading the conversation said. "Those are the best, Why doesn't she buy more of them. Why doesn't she wear them all the time?" They keep us warm and dry. They fit nicely and don't create the dreaded sock wad"
"We shouldn't complain, said my fourth right toe, rather timidly. "At least she doesn't wear those weird trouser socks anymore that she used to wear to work. And she is wearing more comfortable shoes too, I don't remember the last time she wore panty hose either. Those were terrible and you big toes always poked through them when you went to market.
"True, but she is running more and that is not good for me, said the little piggy who cried "wee, wee, wee" all the way home.
"Yeah, but the yoga is good for me" said the plantar fascia. "The last thing she needs is plantar fasciitis. She is not fun when she can't take us running. Remember when she broke her tibia last year?
"I remember it well, but it was me, the fibula", said my right fibula sounding a bit muffled because of the plate and four screws that had been drilled in place to fix the break, and a bit exasperated to be misidentified. "Don't want to go through that again!"
Not wanting to disappoint my vocal toes and other body parts, I chose the bright blue and green smart wool socks. Hey if you can't keep your feet happy then you are pretty worthless. It was the least I could do to compensate for all I had put them through. And to keep from feeling worthless.
It might have been my imagination, but I thought I heard a muffled cheer of approval when I slipped the socks over my heels - especially from the two little piggies who stayed at home.
I remembered when I was a poor college student, my sister used to give me her Woolworth credit card. I would go to the mall to Woolworth's and buy socks and it always made me feel better. My toes probably didn't like the kind I bought then, but I was too busy to listen to them.
Wanting to do something nice for these complaining tootsies, I went immediately to the computer and to Sierra Trading Post and purchased four pair of smart wool socks. It made me feel better. I am no longer a poor college student but a poor retired lady. Besides I knew my all my little piggies would be happy - not to mention that I agree with them on the benefits of smart wool.
"God I hope she isn't gonna choose those acrylic socks. I hate them. They make us sweat. It's bad enough that our nails look like someone has been chewing on them", said my left foot.
"Well at least some of you have nails", my little toes said almost in unison. "She killed ours in all those marathons".
My big toes heartily agreed with this but pointed out that the nails on their toes had grown back.
"Yeah but look how weird you big toes look with that dab of raisin colored nail polish left on from last August" the little toes said defensively.
"I think we can all agree on the smart wool socks", my right big toe, who seemed to be leading the conversation said. "Those are the best, Why doesn't she buy more of them. Why doesn't she wear them all the time?" They keep us warm and dry. They fit nicely and don't create the dreaded sock wad"
"We shouldn't complain, said my fourth right toe, rather timidly. "At least she doesn't wear those weird trouser socks anymore that she used to wear to work. And she is wearing more comfortable shoes too, I don't remember the last time she wore panty hose either. Those were terrible and you big toes always poked through them when you went to market.
"True, but she is running more and that is not good for me, said the little piggy who cried "wee, wee, wee" all the way home.
"Yeah, but the yoga is good for me" said the plantar fascia. "The last thing she needs is plantar fasciitis. She is not fun when she can't take us running. Remember when she broke her tibia last year?
"I remember it well, but it was me, the fibula", said my right fibula sounding a bit muffled because of the plate and four screws that had been drilled in place to fix the break, and a bit exasperated to be misidentified. "Don't want to go through that again!"
Not wanting to disappoint my vocal toes and other body parts, I chose the bright blue and green smart wool socks. Hey if you can't keep your feet happy then you are pretty worthless. It was the least I could do to compensate for all I had put them through. And to keep from feeling worthless.
It might have been my imagination, but I thought I heard a muffled cheer of approval when I slipped the socks over my heels - especially from the two little piggies who stayed at home.
I remembered when I was a poor college student, my sister used to give me her Woolworth credit card. I would go to the mall to Woolworth's and buy socks and it always made me feel better. My toes probably didn't like the kind I bought then, but I was too busy to listen to them.
Wanting to do something nice for these complaining tootsies, I went immediately to the computer and to Sierra Trading Post and purchased four pair of smart wool socks. It made me feel better. I am no longer a poor college student but a poor retired lady. Besides I knew my all my little piggies would be happy - not to mention that I agree with them on the benefits of smart wool.
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