Chronosynclastic infundibuli

While out running 7 miles with Jack this morning, I came across two single gloves and one lonely mitten, abandoned or lost on the sidewalk.  It started me wondering why it is that one never sees a set of mittens or gloves on the road.  It is always only one.  Same thing with earrings - you only ever find one and you only ever lose one.   You only see one shoe on the freeway and you only lose one sock in the dryer. Why is that? And where do they go?  The simple answer might be that they fall out of a pocket or from a car when a person slides out.  I think it is more complicated than that.

I remembered in college, I went through a Kurt Vonnegut phase and read a lot of his books.   The Sirens of Titan was one of my favorites.  In this story, that I am now re-reading, he described a place called a "Chronosynclastic infundibula" where two opposing truths could exist at the same time.  Here's how he described it - or at least a part of his two page description:

Chrono means time. Synclastic means curved toward the same side in all directions, like the skin of an orange.  Infundibulum is what the ancient Romans like Julius Caesar and Nero called a funnel.  

I don't want to drag out his whole discussion here but basically a chronosynclastic infundibula is a place where my daddy who is very smart and your daddy, also very smart could both be right, even if they have differing opinions.    It's a place where different kinds of truths fit together as nicely as the parts of a watch.  It's a place in the universe where everyone could finally catch on to and understand what another person is talking about - even if their opinions are different.  Everyone is right.

My theory is that the single sock, glove, mitten, earring, maybe even buttons, get sucked into this infundibula.  Sometimes a vortex (or a funnel)  is created by certain karmic influences, atmospheric pressure, or other things we can't explain, and before you notice, one baby sock is sucked off a little baby foot.  A mitten suddenly disappears and you usually don't feel the tug on your ear when your earring gets pulled by some magnetic force.  Socks can also enter the infundibulum through a  clothes dryer which is why you always end up with missing socks. I've missed a bra or two but I don't think they go there because if they did you would find only one cup of your bra in the dryer or on the freeway.   But I have never seen this happen.  I am not sure why one of everything goes there but I think it must mean something and if we ever were to get sucked in ourselves, we might understand it. It must have something to do with our appendages, since it involves, things we put on our feet or hands - except for the earrings which are a rarer observance on the sidewalk than are gloves, socks, and mittens.

 I think sometimes the vortex effect is revised and the infundibula just spits out a sock, or a random glove or mitten, on the highway or sidewalk, where they are left to be found by people like me who wonder about these sort of things.  We all wonder about a lot of things.  Why people die and good people die young.   Why people kill each other and do emotionally hurtful things.  The answer might be found in the infundibula.

That's my theory  - thank you Kurt Vonnegut - may you rest in peace in your infundibula wherever you are.  I have decided that I will, from now on, when I am out running, pick up the sock, the glove, or the earring.  I am not sure why but maybe I can make some sense out of things if I put them in a circle around me and meditate.  Or  if I throw them all in the dryer and they disappear.   Or maybe some questions just don't have answers.