letting go
The older you get the more you end up letting go of things that you loved - people you once loved and even the parts of you that maybe you loved when you weren't being critical of yourself. You begin to notice things that weren't there before - such as wrinkles where your ear attaches to your head, and around your eyes. Things start to sag that didn't used to and sometimes your hair gets gray. You feel like the Velveteen Rabbit - well loved but kind of worn out.
I loved that book "The Velveteen Rabbit". Especially this part:
What is REAl" asked the rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made, " said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you . When a child loves you for a long, long time not just to play with but REALLY loves you, then you become REAL.
"Does it hurt?"
"Sometimes, " said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.".
"Does it happen all at once, " he asked, "or bit by "bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "you become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen to people who break easily or have sharp edges or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter at all because once you are real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.
Maybe it is worth giving up some things - like clothes that don't fit you and regretting what you have not accomplished or become. If you are real it is how life is and you just accept it and go on and know that you are loved despite your faults.
The hardest thing to do is let go of people you loved and who were a part of your life. You have to let go of your parents - your mother who loved you more than anyone else ever will or can, and other family members and dogs and cats you once loved but you don't have to let go of the memories and you don't have to stop living. No matter what your beliefs are about what happens to all of us, you can keep the memories of what you had as long as you go on living. And you must go on living.
The best advice I ever got was from my 96 year old friend Velda. I was going back to see my dad when he wasn't doing very well - just before he died. "You go back there" Velda said, "And you deal with it. You deal with whatever happens". And that is what we have to do.
But damn it is hard sometimes.
I loved that book "The Velveteen Rabbit". Especially this part:
What is REAl" asked the rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made, " said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you . When a child loves you for a long, long time not just to play with but REALLY loves you, then you become REAL.
"Does it hurt?"
"Sometimes, " said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.".
"Does it happen all at once, " he asked, "or bit by "bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "you become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen to people who break easily or have sharp edges or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter at all because once you are real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.
Maybe it is worth giving up some things - like clothes that don't fit you and regretting what you have not accomplished or become. If you are real it is how life is and you just accept it and go on and know that you are loved despite your faults.
The hardest thing to do is let go of people you loved and who were a part of your life. You have to let go of your parents - your mother who loved you more than anyone else ever will or can, and other family members and dogs and cats you once loved but you don't have to let go of the memories and you don't have to stop living. No matter what your beliefs are about what happens to all of us, you can keep the memories of what you had as long as you go on living. And you must go on living.
The best advice I ever got was from my 96 year old friend Velda. I was going back to see my dad when he wasn't doing very well - just before he died. "You go back there" Velda said, "And you deal with it. You deal with whatever happens". And that is what we have to do.
But damn it is hard sometimes.
Comments