run on sentences

Christmas was good as it always is, except for no snow which I have grown accustomed to associating with Christmas for so many years.  All kids were here - Scarlett and Des too. We missed Carol Ann but we had a stocking for her.   We had a great Christmas Eve party and the biggest attendance, probably related to the sending of the first ever invite - type set and letter pressed -  and maybe the good weather.  We had lots of food and lots to drink...so much so that at one point when I was feeling a little more "through the door" than I wanted, I did dishes to prove that I wasn't drunk because drunks cannot do dishes.  Having successfully navigating all the dirty glasses, I was convinced I was pretty sober and very clever indeed.    A few cups of coffee later and I was really okay.  I like our Christmas Eve party because it is a good way to share what we have with friends and family and to be what we are.  There are no expectations ...

As I write this, I am about to retire in a few weeks from my job. I don't like that word "retire".  It sounds like changing tires on a car  -  re tire.  It implies getting new tires because the old ones are not good....therefore I like the word - retread.  I am going to just get the tread replaced on the existing tires - not replace them.  The old ones are still good but just need to be....reinvented?  If I had a dime for everyone who said "Maybe you can reinvent yourself" I would be rich.  I  don't plan on reinventing myself (dressing differently all of a sudden, new hairstyle, and color, boob job, or in some other way, changing who I am).  I just plan of following my bliss and doing what I want for a while - more running, more appreciating, organizing, paying attention, spending time with family and friends and less worrying about the things at work I worried about for 35 plus years.  I will try not to worry about how we wi...

The year was somewhere in the 1960s.  I was about 14 and my sister Barbara was 18.  My little brother was 11.   Barb was a senior in high school and had a job.  I also had a job at a restaurant making a whopping .75 per hour.  It was Christmas time and my sister and I had conspired to help my parents and have a nice Christmas for my brother.  My dad had been in a bad accident so money was scarce that year.  Barb and I had saved our money and were planning to surprise our parents by going to a really big grocery store and buying lots of food.  Between us, we had about $60.  In my small town, there wasn’t a grocery store that we could really go crazy in.  If we had spent $60.00 in Erickson’s groceries, it would have depleted the store.  So on Christmas Eve, we drove to the biggest store we knew of in Hurley, WI about an hour away – the Super Value.  We went into the store feeling like we were rich.  Actually $60.00 was...

We got Jack in June of 2000 when he was about 7 months old.  Our previous dog, Bailey had died in April of that year and I couldn't stand to be without a dog for any longer.  Kseniya and I went to the Humane Society where we were faced with what seemed to be an endless number of dogs all saying "Take ME home!".  Jack  (His name was Sunny then) was in a kennel with a big doberman and we took him outside to see what he was like.  When we brought him back in and Kseniya put him back in the cage, he stood in front of the door and would not let her out.  I said, "I guess he is coming home with us." Jack jumped in the car and sat in the backseat very nicely - he didn't jump around or act nervous...it was as if he knew he was in the right place and his life suddenly had changed for the better.  When we got to our house, he ran into the living room and looked at Bruce as if to say "Here I am - I'm your new dog.  What do you think? " Then he ran aro...

There are some things that come and kick you in your once perfect, but still shapely ass - like the cold I have right now that is causing me to want to drink hot toddies but we have no whiskey, so red wine it is.  There are things that keep you awake at night - so much so that you get up and lay in front of the fireplace wishing for some codeine cough medicine or at least some sleep.  These things make you think deep thoughts - here were a few of mine: 1.  I will never ever be sorry for keeping anyone's self esteem intact despite what it cost me. 2.  People without introspection will not go far in the world.  It is necessary to be able to see our faults and even look for them so we can fix them.  3.  Imitation may be the most sincere form of flattery but too much trying to be someone else will cost you who you really are. 4.  I won't be sorry for not tooting my own horn.  I don't need that for my self esteem, tattered and trampled on a...

The older you get the more you end up letting go of things that you  loved - people you once loved  and even the parts of you that maybe you loved when you weren't being critical of yourself.  You begin to notice things that weren't there before - such as wrinkles where your ear attaches to your head, and around your eyes.  Things start to sag that didn't used to and sometimes your hair gets gray.  You feel like the Velveteen Rabbit - well loved but kind of worn out. I loved that book "The Velveteen Rabbit".  Especially this part: What is REAl" asked the rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room.  "does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"  "Real isn't how you are made, " said the Skin Horse.  "It's a thing that happens to you .  When a child loves you for a long, long time not just to play with but REALLY loves you, then you...