mothers and daughters

Last week I decided at the last minute to complete a 3/4 complete shawl for my future daughter in law, Scarlett, who will make me a grandma (with my son Billy's help) in a few weeks. I belong to a group that knits prayer shawls for people that need comforting and have thus far, only contributed one to church people for whom they are intended. One completed shawl went to my sweet father in law and one, knitted from my mom's old yarns, went to her. When she died, it went to my sister.

(This is the last picture I have of me, my mom, and my daughter).
I had decided to make one with my mom's old yarn and give it away to some deserving and needing person, who was not related to me. But then we bought Scarlett and Bill a rocking chair and as I ran last Saturday, I thought how nice that multicolored shawl, made of yarn from a now not existing Ben Franklin store ($1.69 per skein, back in the day) would look on the back of that Rocking Chair. So I came home from a great 8 mile run (take THAT broken leg!) and spent 6 hours, knitting on a hot Saturday to finish it. As I knit, I thought of my mom, and how she would have loved to knit something for her first great grandchild. I thought of her and how much I missed her - that almost unbearable empty pain that grabs a person and then lets go so you can go on. I thought of this yarn, rescued from her house, and probably planned for something - possibly for her own grandchildren - but not completed for whatever reason. I think she would have approved, and I felt good about my decision to give this to Scarlett and Bill - in honor and memory of my mom whose hands I now have and can knit because she taught me. The knitting became therapeutic and I was calmed by it and felt such a sense of accomplishment as I added the fringe to complete it.

My own daughter is visiting and I decided to use the rest of my mom's yarn, to make a shawl for her. Kseniya is my mom's only grand daughter and my only daughter. I am lucky to have a special close relationship with her - closer than I had with my own mom, even though we were close.

So I will knit that one last shawl for my own daughter - I know my mom would have liked that too.

Comments

Scarlett said…
Wow, Donna, this brought tears to my eyes! We love the shawl and the baby blanket and your wall hanging (that we have now hung in the "baby room"). When I told my mom about the shawl, she said, after a long silence, that it was amazing that we have something of someone who is a part of nacho (both genetically and spiritually). That it's important to always remember family that we love and care about even if we have never met them. Thanks so much for passing that on to us.
donnaraye said…
Thanks Scarlett - I am glad I could do it and your mama is right -hanging on to the people who make us who we are and what we will be is important. I smile when I think of you or Billy rocking Nacho - wrapped in something of my mom.