the other grandparents

This is a picture of grandma and grandpa Ojanen (Clara and Simon) my dad's parents. They lived on a farm and we visited them every Sunday for roast beef and red jello with real whipped cream. We also always had raw milk straight from the cow.

Clara and Simon worked hard on their farm. There wasn't much time for fun or for fooling with silly grandchildren. I don't remember grandma Ojanen ever touching me except to put my hair in braids so tight that my eyes got slanted. She always thought she was dying and argued with her neighbor over who was the fattest. She wanted to be the fattest! She also spoiled my dad rotten - he was the baby of the family and never had to lift a finger to do anything, much to my mother's dismay. My grandma Ojanen never liked my mom cause she thought my dad should have married a good Finnish girl. My mom, in her later years, talked about how much this had hurt her. Grandpa Ojanen was a little more affectionate and positive. Grandma and her Finnish neighbors in Mud Creek always made a big deal if you came for coffee. I drank her coffee beginning at age three - it was the prettiest color and made on top of the wood stove. She always had "biscuit" with it which was usually some type of home made bakery.

Grandpa Ojanen drank his coffee from a saucer, which I always thought peculiar. He gave up coffee and just drank hot water with sugar in it (from a saucer too). He wouldn't let me drive the tractor because I was a girl. I did get to stay there for a few days each summer when the "downstate cousins" three boys, showed up for their yearly visit. It was fun. We would get to go get the cows back to the barn and would lick the big salt cube that was there for the cows. I was afraid of those cows because they were curious and would surround you like they were going to eat you up or something.

Grandma and Grandpa came and lived with us for a while when I was in high school. She had asthma really bad and was in and out of the hospital. I never found out much about her growing up years - she didn't offer and I didn't ask. I wish I had now. She was always so serious and I don't remember her smiling too much. Grandpa told me that he had gotten mad at his dad in Finland, when he was 18, and ran away to America where his brother was, and never saw his parents again.

They were both in a nursing home together. She died first and I sat with Grandpa during part of the funeral. He did tell me stories then. He was more demonstrative than she was and always was proud that I was going to be a nurse. He got to meet Kseniya and Billy. Of my dad's side of the family, two cousins (my dad's sister's kids) and my brother, sister and I are all that is left.

Granpa asked me if I would come to his funeral when he died. I didn't, but I think it would be okay with him. I think I was as good a grand daughter as they would let me be. I never dream about them though. I wish I had asked more questions.