I'm not pretty when I am sweaty
OK so I have written enough sob stories about dead parents, and grandparents. Here's one for my cousin Bonnie!
Yesterday I ran 14 or so miles with my friend Suzanne. It about wiped me out but it was a perfect day and we ran a different route, just for fun. In the process, we almost got hit by a car, whose driver had the nerve to swear at us! But we didn't get hit and get broken femurs and hips and I live to write about it. Actually I am not going to write about the run...it was a good one and no one got hurt and we will do 18 miles next weekend.
I got home from running and was perspiring more than usual. I looked in the mirror and saw a red faced but with undertones of pale (I have been looking at too many Sephora makeup recommendations), sweaty, old lady with a high forehead and no eyebrows - haven't had them colored or shaped in a while. There was no "glistening" at all going on with me.
My imaginary friend Jennifer - she looks beautiful after a run. She comes home and when she looks in the mirror, she sees "porcelain with hints of sunshine" on her face and rosary beads of perspiration glistening on her brow. Her glowing skin, above her well-filled and not saggy running bra contents also glistens, with a little trickle running down her ample cleavage. She has eyebrows that automatically color and shape themselves and looks like she just applied makeup (but she didn't). She comes home and immediately gets to work - takes a quick look in the mirror, puts on a cute cap over her bouncy blonde pony tail and runs to the grocery store - still in her running shorts. She can wear them most of the day and does not get a vaginitis. And she doesn't smell bad.
The thing about Jennifer though...she only runs three miles on her good days and doesn't do it for sanity - she does it cause someone told her she should exercise 30 minutes per day and that is all she does. She pretty much does all that is prescribed of her. And....she doesn't have nice calf muscles like mine. Hers just go straight up and down with no muscle definition. She doesn't like dogs and she isn't nice to old people.
Jennifer may glisten and glow and have cleavage but I can run that bitch into the ground!
Yesterday I ran 14 or so miles with my friend Suzanne. It about wiped me out but it was a perfect day and we ran a different route, just for fun. In the process, we almost got hit by a car, whose driver had the nerve to swear at us! But we didn't get hit and get broken femurs and hips and I live to write about it. Actually I am not going to write about the run...it was a good one and no one got hurt and we will do 18 miles next weekend.
I got home from running and was perspiring more than usual. I looked in the mirror and saw a red faced but with undertones of pale (I have been looking at too many Sephora makeup recommendations), sweaty, old lady with a high forehead and no eyebrows - haven't had them colored or shaped in a while. There was no "glistening" at all going on with me.
My imaginary friend Jennifer - she looks beautiful after a run. She comes home and when she looks in the mirror, she sees "porcelain with hints of sunshine" on her face and rosary beads of perspiration glistening on her brow. Her glowing skin, above her well-filled and not saggy running bra contents also glistens, with a little trickle running down her ample cleavage. She has eyebrows that automatically color and shape themselves and looks like she just applied makeup (but she didn't). She comes home and immediately gets to work - takes a quick look in the mirror, puts on a cute cap over her bouncy blonde pony tail and runs to the grocery store - still in her running shorts. She can wear them most of the day and does not get a vaginitis. And she doesn't smell bad.
The thing about Jennifer though...she only runs three miles on her good days and doesn't do it for sanity - she does it cause someone told her she should exercise 30 minutes per day and that is all she does. She pretty much does all that is prescribed of her. And....she doesn't have nice calf muscles like mine. Hers just go straight up and down with no muscle definition. She doesn't like dogs and she isn't nice to old people.
Jennifer may glisten and glow and have cleavage but I can run that bitch into the ground!
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