More on Ghosts and Zombies

Yesterday my day was made more "silly and happy" as Tina seamonster says, by a envelope she sent to me containing some cool things. I have never met Tina, but my daughter who has enjoyed reading her blog ( http://www.ilikeseamonsters.com/ ), sent her a copy of my previous post on zombies and vampires. Tina seamonster might be the first person to read any of my posts outside my family, and my sweet daughter wanted to get my blog "out there". Tina seamonster sent me some great magnets, some cards, and a pin that says "sometimes I worry about zombies"(which to be honest, I sometimes do, especially when a hot flash wakes me up at 3:30 am, a time of night where everything bad is magnified several times and I think we would be most vulnerable to bad zombies). Tina's zombies looked more lost, sad and almost cute than actually mean so I think they are benevolent zombies. Maybe zombies are like people who are bewildered by the bad stuff that happens in the world - like my friend Bob having ALS and his wife having cancer. Yet maybe they have a cute little smile because they know that life is good even when it is bad. Check out Tina seamonster's website. It will make you happy.

I started thinking about the times where I have felt the presence of ghosts, zombies or other beings not in this dimension. My first experience was as a little girl, lying awake in my upstairs bedroom, listening to the hum of the streetlight shining outside my window and WLS in Chicago on my little transistor radio. I looked out the window and saw a space ship orbiting around that streetlight. I swear I saw this. Only this once and I was too young at that time to have drank or smoked anything. Of course no one believed me.

I really had no further experience with ghosts or extraterrestrials for a long time, but I believe in them. I believe in good ghosts more than the bad ones who slept under my bed when I was little (the bogie men ghosts) and kept me from dangling a foot or a leg over the edge lest they pull me under. For me, ghosts might just be the energy of those who have gone. Since energy cannot be created or destroyed and we are energy, I believe we stay on. So maybe it is the energy I believe in and not ghosts.

My grandmother who died over 20 years ago, has appeared in her energy form to me many times, mostly when I am feeling stressed or not as good as everyone else and I am putting myself down. When I am about ready to give a talk at a conference with a lot of people who I think know more than I do, I hear her whisper to me "Get up there - you are as good as any of them. They all put on their pants the same way as you do every morning". One time when I was at a conference and feeling inferior, I was wakened in my hotel room by my grandma's voice saying "Donna get up. Get yourself out of bed and go for a run!". That voice was a clear as a bell and I knew it was her. She knew what I needed. So I got up and ran by posh houses in San Diego and felt great all day.

My grandmother runs marathons with me too. I can feel her up there, somewhere anyway, looking down on me - probably with my dad, grandpa and other relatives who I never really get a sense of. When I get to about mile 18, I actually think I feel her rubbing my shoulders. My shoulders always get stiff because I hold my arms so rigidly. I think she likes that I run, because she gave up doing much of anything when she turned 60 or so. She sat in her chair and watched the world go by. So now she travels with me and sees things she never got to see.

I think this grandma visits me because she always favored my sister. Not that I minded though. I left my home town and my sister did not. My sister was wonderful to my grandma and fished with my grandpa. Maybe grandma feels guilty about favoring Barbara Jean so is helping me out now. Whatever it is, I am grateful for her presence whenever she chooses to be here for me.

I don't understand why I never feel the presence or energy of any other grandparents. Maybe they are busy with others who need them more. I do feel my dad around on days when the air is damp and moist and it smells like the woods he loved. I felt his presence one morning as I ran in my little hometown where I grew up. My mom says she sees him sitting in the chair where he always used to sit, but she looks over and he is gone. I believe he is there, keeping an eye on her. I have a feeling he wants her to join him though and she resists it. At least for now. He always got his own way.

I am closest to these good ghosts when I am out running by myself and my mind is still. I think there is a presence of something in our house now- probably not a relative. Every time I enter one room in our basement, I feel as though I have been there before. If I go outside through the basement entrance I am immediately hit with a feeling that something is here or was here or of something happening there that may not have been all good. I am not afraid of this but it is a funny sensation. I have dreams of going downstairs and finding a bunch of rooms that I did not know existed in my house. They are always decorated in the era of the 1960s and I feel happy to have found them. It is always dusty in these rooms as if no one has been there for a long time. I think it means that there are things I should take care of and pay attention to in my own head. I am sure a psychiatrist could get into my head and convince me that I have repressed memories. I think that might be bullshit.

Tina seamonster wrote in one of her blogs "Why do we all sit at desks all day? Some day we will be ghosts, so let's live now before we can't anymore. Let's take a bus to a friend's house and knit a scarf and eat strawberries". And I would like to add "And let's surprise people we don't even know and may never meet, and send them things, just because in many ways, we are all connected by our ghosts and our energy. Thanks so much tina seamonster.

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