there is love
"I am going to have a girlfriend named Scarlett some day" my son Bill told me several years ago even before he was dating her. Of course, I googled her and saw a beautiful girl who liked yoga. It would be a while before we got to meet her.
For a while, Bill admired Scarlett from afar, but his persistence in pursuing paid off. After a few years of dating, he told me "I'm going to marry her some day". Last weekend he made true on that statement and they were married in New Orleans in one of the best celebrations of love, friendship, fun and family I have ever experienced, in my favorite city.
I looked forward to having a real vacation with Bruce that didn't
involve attending a funeral, and getting together with our children who are scattered over the
country, in a city we have all grown to love. Billy, Scarlett and
Desmond, their son. Kseniya and Carol Ann. Dan and a girlfriend, Abhi
who we would meet for the first time. I was excited about meeting
Scarlett's family, who would officially become part of our family. In preparation for some possible dancing, Bruce and I
even took a dance class. We wanted to surprise our kids and maybe do a
waltz or two. One of Scarlett's friends made me a dress which coincidentally looked a lot like a dress I wore to a Senior prom many years ago.
New Orleans was the perfect place for a wedding. It is, as my daughter so eloquently (and more eloquently than I am expressing it here) put it in the comments she read at the wedding, a city that has been knocked down and built back up several times. Sort of like marriages. What I love about this city is that it is so accepting of everyone and there is always positive vibes in the air. The people are nice, the food is good, and it is okay to walk down the streets with a beer in your hand. Oh and there is so much more than the French Quarter and Bourbon street. The people are creative and find unique ways to make money. One young lady sat outside a Jazz bar with an old manual Pink Olympia typewriter and for a small price would type up a poem on the spot for a mother's day gift.
Billy and Scarlett invited some of their many friends - friends from high school and friends from college, married friends, friends with children, and of course a multitude of single friends. Knowing that people were traveling quite a distance, they made it worth everyone's while in many ways.
A wedding is usually all about the bride and groom. But Billy and Scarlett made this wedding about everyone - not just their own celebration but a celebration of friendships and family and love. At the welcome dinner which involved a shrimp boil held at the museum of pharmacy, each of their friends and family were given a card with a handwritten comment thanking them for coming and a few words describing what their friendship meant. The men received seersucker bow ties to wear at the wedding and the women got hankies with their initials embroidered by Scarlett. The women also got hand made pins in the shape of flowers. A slide show depicted every guest and some unique comment about them.
The wedding took place at preservation hall and was performed by Danny, Billy's best friend since childhood. My mom always called Danny "the little curly headed boy". Danny admitted to being nervous, but his words and his obvious love for his friends, brought everyone to tears. As I sat there, I thought of a few lines from the song that was popular at weddings when I was in my early 20's, "The Wedding song" by Paul Stookey. Here's one verse from it:
It is the last two sentences that I kept thinking of "There is Love". I have never felt so much love in one room. We all seemed united, and caught in some good New Orleanean voodoo - sharing something so special between two people, but brought into it by our relationship with the bride and groom. The ceremony was so spiritual...and if God or a supreme being is love, then it might be that He (or she) was there, as the song says.
Bruce and I were surrounded by our children and I never felt so moved or so proud of all of them and their accomplishments, their friends, and their choices and so happy they loved us back. I was happy my son chose a woman who is kind and caring and who loves all of the good things about him. I was happy I chose his dad - I could not have asked for a better husband and father.
I thought of how for such a short time we are the center of our children's universe and we help them to grow up and be brave and make choices. We reluctantly send them out on their own to experience the world - to have successes and to make mistakes. Hopefully we teach them to be open, accepting human beings. While it is so hard to let them go it is exhilarating to see them make their own lives and be happy. As I sat there I thought of how we didn't have money to give them all the material things in life they might have wanted but what we did give them all was a good work ethic, sense of humor, acceptance and the ability to go after what they want - even if it wasn't always the most practical idea.
Billy and Scarlett honored their family members that no longer were with us with a moment of silence. I am sure my mom and dad, Siggie, and grandpa Owl were smiling along with Scarlett's grandparents.
Desmond clapped his hands and had such a big smile on his face - as if he knew what was happening and was thanking his parents for making an honest baby out of him. He stole the show by walking up to the front and going underneath the dress of Scarlett's friend who was giving some remarks during the ceremony. Later one of Billy's friend's commented to me "I think all the guys were jealous when Desmond did that". Desmond's beautiful joyous self also made me think of some words from a song by Jack Johnson "In the morning"
After the wedding, there was a parade with a Jazz band leading the way. The entire wedding paraded down to the reception which was several blocks away, dancing and yelling and just having a great time. The tourists were all taking pictures - of tourists. I taught Des how to scream, which I am sure his parents appreciated.
I came home with a high that I had not felt in a long time that I can
only equate with the way I feel after a marathon....proud and
accomplished. I woke up in the middle of the night
and could not help smiling as I remembered the entire weekend.
For a while, Bill admired Scarlett from afar, but his persistence in pursuing paid off. After a few years of dating, he told me "I'm going to marry her some day". Last weekend he made true on that statement and they were married in New Orleans in one of the best celebrations of love, friendship, fun and family I have ever experienced, in my favorite city.
 | ||
| The wedding invite - made by kseniya thomas. http://www.thomas-printers.com |
New Orleans was the perfect place for a wedding. It is, as my daughter so eloquently (and more eloquently than I am expressing it here) put it in the comments she read at the wedding, a city that has been knocked down and built back up several times. Sort of like marriages. What I love about this city is that it is so accepting of everyone and there is always positive vibes in the air. The people are nice, the food is good, and it is okay to walk down the streets with a beer in your hand. Oh and there is so much more than the French Quarter and Bourbon street. The people are creative and find unique ways to make money. One young lady sat outside a Jazz bar with an old manual Pink Olympia typewriter and for a small price would type up a poem on the spot for a mother's day gift.
 |
| She had great typing posture too! |
A wedding is usually all about the bride and groom. But Billy and Scarlett made this wedding about everyone - not just their own celebration but a celebration of friendships and family and love. At the welcome dinner which involved a shrimp boil held at the museum of pharmacy, each of their friends and family were given a card with a handwritten comment thanking them for coming and a few words describing what their friendship meant. The men received seersucker bow ties to wear at the wedding and the women got hankies with their initials embroidered by Scarlett. The women also got hand made pins in the shape of flowers. A slide show depicted every guest and some unique comment about them.
The wedding took place at preservation hall and was performed by Danny, Billy's best friend since childhood. My mom always called Danny "the little curly headed boy". Danny admitted to being nervous, but his words and his obvious love for his friends, brought everyone to tears. As I sat there, I thought of a few lines from the song that was popular at weddings when I was in my early 20's, "The Wedding song" by Paul Stookey. Here's one verse from it:
He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love,
there is Love.
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love,
there is Love.
Bruce and I were surrounded by our children and I never felt so moved or so proud of all of them and their accomplishments, their friends, and their choices and so happy they loved us back. I was happy my son chose a woman who is kind and caring and who loves all of the good things about him. I was happy I chose his dad - I could not have asked for a better husband and father.
I thought of how for such a short time we are the center of our children's universe and we help them to grow up and be brave and make choices. We reluctantly send them out on their own to experience the world - to have successes and to make mistakes. Hopefully we teach them to be open, accepting human beings. While it is so hard to let them go it is exhilarating to see them make their own lives and be happy. As I sat there I thought of how we didn't have money to give them all the material things in life they might have wanted but what we did give them all was a good work ethic, sense of humor, acceptance and the ability to go after what they want - even if it wasn't always the most practical idea.
Billy and Scarlett honored their family members that no longer were with us with a moment of silence. I am sure my mom and dad, Siggie, and grandpa Owl were smiling along with Scarlett's grandparents.
Desmond clapped his hands and had such a big smile on his face - as if he knew what was happening and was thanking his parents for making an honest baby out of him. He stole the show by walking up to the front and going underneath the dress of Scarlett's friend who was giving some remarks during the ceremony. Later one of Billy's friend's commented to me "I think all the guys were jealous when Desmond did that". Desmond's beautiful joyous self also made me think of some words from a song by Jack Johnson "In the morning"
So much love
the kids are laughing in their sleep
swimming through their dreams into the morning
so peaceful all the stories that we’re told
lead them through the night back from the shadows
so much joy every little girl and boy
even better when they wake up tomorrow
the kids are laughing in their sleep
swimming through their dreams into the morning
so peaceful all the stories that we’re told
lead them through the night back from the shadows
so much joy every little girl and boy
even better when they wake up tomorrow
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| Des at the rehearsal the night before the wedding. Desmond is, as Kseniya says "the tune we keep humming" |
So many emotions went through my mind and so many songs and so many memories. It didn't seem that long ago that Bruce and I were married up in the canyon by one of our doctor friends who played his banjo and read a native American reading for our ceremony. The years fly by as they do, and life just gets better. As you get older, your world can shrink if you let it. It might be easy to despair and think there is nothing to look forward to any longer. But we have so much. I look forward to a whole new family - and all of them can dance really well and I hope they will teach me. I look forward to spending time with Scarlett's mom and running with Scarlett - and of course watching Des grow up. I want to stay up till 3 AM more often and maybe watch the sun rise while drinking Pims cups. I want to keep enjoying this life no matter how old I get. I want to dance with Des at his wedding but before that I want to run a 10K with him.
After the wedding, there was a parade with a Jazz band leading the way. The entire wedding paraded down to the reception which was several blocks away, dancing and yelling and just having a great time. The tourists were all taking pictures - of tourists. I taught Des how to scream, which I am sure his parents appreciated.
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| Bill and Scarlett |
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More of the parade. Look how happy everyone looks. That's me carrying Des |
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