clothing estrangement
I have been alienated from much of my wardrobe this year - we have had a distant relationship at best. We get back together for funerals and sometimes to go to church but then we go back to our separate ways and separate parts of the closet.
When I was working, I wore what my daughter, when she was little, called my "big lady clothes". There's the nice dressy pants (I preferred those from the Gap because they seemed to fit me better), nice sweaters and shirts, and a great suit from Banana republic that they convinced me to buy by sending me a lot of emails - each one increasing the percent off and offering free shipping. There's also a nice J. Crew suit that my kids got me for Christmas and a pinstripe one from Ann Taylor Loft that I wore when I was on an Institute of Medicine Committee on Emergency Care. That was a big deal (not the suit, but the committee) and was an honor to be on, but it pretty much went unnoticed in my work world. I didn't wear suits to work much because I felt sort of "unapproachable", but sometimes it was nice to wear them and feel powerful even though it was an illusion. I also loved the green skirt with the buttons sewn all around the hem - didn't wear that at all this year. This skirt was also a gift from my daughter who has kept me from wearing "old lady clothes" and outfits where the collars and cuffs match the print on the pants! Heaven forbid.
I also have the beloved, comfortable scrubs that I wore any time I wanted to be "one of the gang" or a "real nurse". I always hated when I wore them and someone would say "Are you going to be a real nurse today?" I was and still am, a real nurse for sure. Sometimes I wore them when I wanted to feel a part of my team and I always wore them with a lot of pride. I admit I always felt much better in scrubs - I didn't need big lady clothes to feel "in charge".
Now that I am retreaded, the "big lady clothing" lives in my closet, neglected most of the time. Today I went to a funeral and wore the nice Banana republic suit. It looked good. All the estrangement from the suit (and the loss of 10 work related pounds) made it fit me so well I could actually tuck in the blouse I wore with it. I have lost weight but I don't brag about it because I know how easy it is to find it again. But nothing feels better than clothes that fit perfectly that once were snug. Take that, apron!
I found a pair of nice shoes that I hadn't worn in a while either and dusted them off. Like most women, I do love shoes, and it is amazing how long they last when you don't have an opportunity to wear them too much. These shoes have a little heel so I felt rather statuesque - and I think my legs looked great (I am practicing saying nice things about myself instead of being self deprecating - is that the right term?). All that running is good for something.
Most of the year I have lived in jeans and t-shirts. I often think I should wear other things - maybe a nice shirt with a collar on it or a blouse but the truth is that I feel more comfortable in t-shirts and shorts and jeans. And I love hoodies with zippers - not the pull over kind - it's all I need. I decided I will just wear what I am comfortable in so don't anyone send me to one of those shows where they make me get rid of all my clothes and tell me what I should wear.
I know I could give my estranged clothes away to some organization that provides them for women seeking employment. But I feel we might get back together at some point. I think we will be able to work things out - maybe come to some sort of agreement or something? Life is like your clothes - sometimes you don't exactly fit the part you are playing so you put that part in the back of your closet and wait a while till it fits you better. Sometimes you take it out again....but other times you force yourself to move on.
When I was working, I wore what my daughter, when she was little, called my "big lady clothes". There's the nice dressy pants (I preferred those from the Gap because they seemed to fit me better), nice sweaters and shirts, and a great suit from Banana republic that they convinced me to buy by sending me a lot of emails - each one increasing the percent off and offering free shipping. There's also a nice J. Crew suit that my kids got me for Christmas and a pinstripe one from Ann Taylor Loft that I wore when I was on an Institute of Medicine Committee on Emergency Care. That was a big deal (not the suit, but the committee) and was an honor to be on, but it pretty much went unnoticed in my work world. I didn't wear suits to work much because I felt sort of "unapproachable", but sometimes it was nice to wear them and feel powerful even though it was an illusion. I also loved the green skirt with the buttons sewn all around the hem - didn't wear that at all this year. This skirt was also a gift from my daughter who has kept me from wearing "old lady clothes" and outfits where the collars and cuffs match the print on the pants! Heaven forbid.
I also have the beloved, comfortable scrubs that I wore any time I wanted to be "one of the gang" or a "real nurse". I always hated when I wore them and someone would say "Are you going to be a real nurse today?" I was and still am, a real nurse for sure. Sometimes I wore them when I wanted to feel a part of my team and I always wore them with a lot of pride. I admit I always felt much better in scrubs - I didn't need big lady clothes to feel "in charge".
Now that I am retreaded, the "big lady clothing" lives in my closet, neglected most of the time. Today I went to a funeral and wore the nice Banana republic suit. It looked good. All the estrangement from the suit (and the loss of 10 work related pounds) made it fit me so well I could actually tuck in the blouse I wore with it. I have lost weight but I don't brag about it because I know how easy it is to find it again. But nothing feels better than clothes that fit perfectly that once were snug. Take that, apron!
I found a pair of nice shoes that I hadn't worn in a while either and dusted them off. Like most women, I do love shoes, and it is amazing how long they last when you don't have an opportunity to wear them too much. These shoes have a little heel so I felt rather statuesque - and I think my legs looked great (I am practicing saying nice things about myself instead of being self deprecating - is that the right term?). All that running is good for something.
Most of the year I have lived in jeans and t-shirts. I often think I should wear other things - maybe a nice shirt with a collar on it or a blouse but the truth is that I feel more comfortable in t-shirts and shorts and jeans. And I love hoodies with zippers - not the pull over kind - it's all I need. I decided I will just wear what I am comfortable in so don't anyone send me to one of those shows where they make me get rid of all my clothes and tell me what I should wear.
I know I could give my estranged clothes away to some organization that provides them for women seeking employment. But I feel we might get back together at some point. I think we will be able to work things out - maybe come to some sort of agreement or something? Life is like your clothes - sometimes you don't exactly fit the part you are playing so you put that part in the back of your closet and wait a while till it fits you better. Sometimes you take it out again....but other times you force yourself to move on.
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