deselecting celexa
Recently I ended my two year relationship with an SSRI (Selective Serotonin re uptake inhibitor). It had to happen sooner or later...it just wasn't working out for either of us, and I didn't really need a crutch so I ended it - trying to wean myself off at first and then just cutting the cord. Ironically I ended this crutch pretty much about the same time I threw down my crutches that I had been using for 5 weeks after I broke my leg. I am on my own two feet - emotionally and physically now.
I am a happy person - known as an eternal optimist by some. But a few years ago, my dad died. Work sucked. I was becoming very negative. I found myself lying awake with palpitations and woke up with headaches. My blood pressure was higher than my inherited normal high blood pressure. My doctor suggested that this drug - Celexa or Citalopram by it's proper name, would be good and help with anxiety. Well half the people I knew were on some sort of antidepressant and even though I, being a tough Finn baby boomer, thought I could handle it, I decided to give it a try.
I didn't really notice any side effects right off. I felt calm, the palpitations went away. I seemed to not get mad about anything and could just let things slide emotionally. I didn't cry when my mom died a year ago. I couldn't really cry about anything. Oh and the one bad side effect? I didn't really care about sex anymore. Yeah I had read about that side effect but being 55 something I figured it was an inevitable side effect of life. At least it was not one of the antidepressants that had weight gain as a side effect. And it did not affect my running.
For some reason, after I broke my leg and couldn't run, I decided I didn't want to take this drug any more. One reason is because of the description of what this damn drug does:
Pharmacodynamics
The mechanism of action of citalopram HBr as an antidepressant is presumed to be linked to potentiation of serotonergic activity in the central nervous system (CNS) resulting from its inhibition of CNS neuronal reuptake of serotonin (5-HT). In vitro and in vivo studies in animals suggest that citalopram is a highly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) with minimal effects on norepinephrine (NE) and dopamine (DA) neuronal reuptake. Tolerance to the inhibition of 5-HT uptake is not induced by long-term (14-day) treatment of rats with citalopram. Citalopram is a racemic mixture (50/50), and the inhibition of 5-HT reuptake by citalopram is primarily due to the (S)-enantiomer.
Citalopram has no or very low affinity for 5-HT1A, 5-HT2A, dopamine D1 and D2, α1-, α2-, and β-adrenergic, histamine H1, gamma aminobutyric acid (GABA), muscarinic cholinergic, and benzodiazepine receptors. Antagonism of muscarinic, histaminergic, and adrenergic receptors has been hypothesized to be associated with various anticholinergic, sedative, and cardiovascular effects of other psychotropic drugs.
Who wants to take a drug that does all this stuff to receptors I have not thought about since my biochemistry (or was it organic chemistry) class in college? And a drug that does things to your brain - essentially numbing it to emotion? My brain is effed up enough without adding chemicals to it on a permanent basis. Besides, even though I was taking this drug, my dad was still dead. My mom died too. My good friend and running buddy Bob died. Work still sucks sometimes - so what good is it?
Don't get me wrong. Some people need anti anxiety drugs, antidepressants, etc...but I don't think I am one of them. I am healthy...I exercise, and I am introspective. I want to be emotional again, even if it means getting angry. I want to finally cry cause my mom died. And even at 55 (wait...56) something, I still want to get frisky! I want to rely on my own endorphins to keep going...along with a little wine now and then.
So I tapered off my dose and then quit taking those little pink pills altogether. I had heard about the side effects of quitting but didn't think too much about it until a few days after I quit altogether. I started feeling dizzy - just a weird zappy dizzy like if someone pushed my head back and it came forward again really fast. I was nauseated and achy and very emotional. I yelled at some poor construction guy at work and then my eyes filled with tears and I tried to open them wider so the tears wouldn't spill over. The guy looked at me in horror (as guys do when women cry) - he was more horrified cause I was going to cry than he was that I yelled at him. Somehow it felt good to feel emotion and to let it out a little. I spent a whole day being on the verge of tears and it felt good in a masochistic sort of way. My dreams are vivid and weird but then they always have been.
It has been a week and I will make it As always, exercise helps, even if it isn't running...I will do that soon. For now, peddling on the exercise bike and lifting weights will do it. I looked up some info on Celexa withdrawal and found out others had the same symptoms. I was on such a small dose so it must be awful for folks who take a lot more? So why don't docs tell people about these things?
One person blogging about his withdrawal experience (he had been a writer) mentioned that he couldn't write anything interesting for an entire year while he was taking Celexa. So....maybe after my zappy dizziness goes away, this blog will be more interesting. And maybe I will give a damn.
I am a happy person - known as an eternal optimist by some. But a few years ago, my dad died. Work sucked. I was becoming very negative. I found myself lying awake with palpitations and woke up with headaches. My blood pressure was higher than my inherited normal high blood pressure. My doctor suggested that this drug - Celexa or Citalopram by it's proper name, would be good and help with anxiety. Well half the people I knew were on some sort of antidepressant and even though I, being a tough Finn baby boomer, thought I could handle it, I decided to give it a try.
I didn't really notice any side effects right off. I felt calm, the palpitations went away. I seemed to not get mad about anything and could just let things slide emotionally. I didn't cry when my mom died a year ago. I couldn't really cry about anything. Oh and the one bad side effect? I didn't really care about sex anymore. Yeah I had read about that side effect but being 55 something I figured it was an inevitable side effect of life. At least it was not one of the antidepressants that had weight gain as a side effect. And it did not affect my running.
For some reason, after I broke my leg and couldn't run, I decided I didn't want to take this drug any more. One reason is because of the description of what this damn drug does:
Pharmacodynamics
The mechanism of action of citalopram HBr as an antidepressant is presumed to be linked to potentiation of serotonergic activity in the central nervous system (CNS) resulting from its inhibition of CNS neuronal reuptake of serotonin (5-HT). In vitro and in vivo studies in animals suggest that citalopram is a highly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) with minimal effects on norepinephrine (NE) and dopamine (DA) neuronal reuptake. Tolerance to the inhibition of 5-HT uptake is not induced by long-term (14-day) treatment of rats with citalopram. Citalopram is a racemic mixture (50/50), and the inhibition of 5-HT reuptake by citalopram is primarily due to the (S)-enantiomer.
Citalopram has no or very low affinity for 5-HT1A, 5-HT2A, dopamine D1 and D2, α1-, α2-, and β-adrenergic, histamine H1, gamma aminobutyric acid (GABA), muscarinic cholinergic, and benzodiazepine receptors. Antagonism of muscarinic, histaminergic, and adrenergic receptors has been hypothesized to be associated with various anticholinergic, sedative, and cardiovascular effects of other psychotropic drugs.
Who wants to take a drug that does all this stuff to receptors I have not thought about since my biochemistry (or was it organic chemistry) class in college? And a drug that does things to your brain - essentially numbing it to emotion? My brain is effed up enough without adding chemicals to it on a permanent basis. Besides, even though I was taking this drug, my dad was still dead. My mom died too. My good friend and running buddy Bob died. Work still sucks sometimes - so what good is it?
Don't get me wrong. Some people need anti anxiety drugs, antidepressants, etc...but I don't think I am one of them. I am healthy...I exercise, and I am introspective. I want to be emotional again, even if it means getting angry. I want to finally cry cause my mom died. And even at 55 (wait...56) something, I still want to get frisky! I want to rely on my own endorphins to keep going...along with a little wine now and then.
So I tapered off my dose and then quit taking those little pink pills altogether. I had heard about the side effects of quitting but didn't think too much about it until a few days after I quit altogether. I started feeling dizzy - just a weird zappy dizzy like if someone pushed my head back and it came forward again really fast. I was nauseated and achy and very emotional. I yelled at some poor construction guy at work and then my eyes filled with tears and I tried to open them wider so the tears wouldn't spill over. The guy looked at me in horror (as guys do when women cry) - he was more horrified cause I was going to cry than he was that I yelled at him. Somehow it felt good to feel emotion and to let it out a little. I spent a whole day being on the verge of tears and it felt good in a masochistic sort of way. My dreams are vivid and weird but then they always have been.
It has been a week and I will make it As always, exercise helps, even if it isn't running...I will do that soon. For now, peddling on the exercise bike and lifting weights will do it. I looked up some info on Celexa withdrawal and found out others had the same symptoms. I was on such a small dose so it must be awful for folks who take a lot more? So why don't docs tell people about these things?
One person blogging about his withdrawal experience (he had been a writer) mentioned that he couldn't write anything interesting for an entire year while he was taking Celexa. So....maybe after my zappy dizziness goes away, this blog will be more interesting. And maybe I will give a damn.
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