Gone Fishing
No one really knows why my uncle Jim was called Jab. His youngest sister thinks it was because he talked a lot. One of his friends says that his dad was also called "Jab". Anyone that could have told us for sure is gone to wherever one goes when they leave this earth. Jab died last week in the early morning hours. He was my last uncle, my mom's youngest brother and I loved him a lot. He was one of the kindest, most real people I have ever known.
Jab's real name was James Lynwood. He was named after his dad, my grandpa who was James Valentine, and also an older brother, James Wesley, who died when he was less than a year old. My sister and I probably are the only ones who still called him Jab.
Uncle Jab was around for a lot of my growing up years. He and his brother Booie were always very close. They even married sisters, which I thought was cool because all of their kids had the same cousins. Jab and his wife Gaby were married for 59 years and were a great example of being there for each other for better or for worse.
Jab was one of the funniest people I have ever known. He had a drinking problem, like many members of my family but later overcame it. He didn't try to hide it, blame anyone else or make excuses. Maybe, he believed we have to live through the things we do including our mistakes, to get where we are going. He was also very a very proud Marine - proud of having served his country.
Jab made the best of his life after he quit drinking. Actually I think he tried to make the best of his life always. He devoted his life to his wife, kids, grandkids and great grandkids. He was a good friend to many people, the kind of friend who made you feel good just being around him. He had a positive outlook and a wonderful sense of humor and was never without a joke or a story to tell about his youth and the things he did growing up in our little town. He loved that town and never forgot where he came from. He wanted to get back there one more time this summer to visit the hill where he grew up with one of his best friends, Will. But that was not to be.
Jab was always his own person. He wasn't perfect but he was honest and never tried to be something he wasn't. He accepted everything and everyone without trying to change them When he became a member of the LDS church which forbids the use of coffee, he continued to drink it anyway saying that if coffee drinking made him a bad person then he didn't want to go to that church. His bishop at the time conceded that it was probably ok if not overdone. I can't imagine anyone not liking him; like my mom, he could talk to anyone, stranger or friend, and make them feel like they mattered and they did matter to him. He seemed to be one of the few people who mastered the art of not judging others.
When my dad got in a car accident in the early 1960s, the ambulance took too long to come to get him so uncle Jab and Gaby drove him to a hospital that was 2 hours away - not worrying that he was bleeding from his head on the seats in their new car. Despite a depressed skull fracture, my dad survived and it was probably due in part to my uncle and my aunt.
Jab always had so much joy for life. He loved his grandkids and great grandkids and spent a lot of time taking them fishing and camping. His grandkids loved him too. He told me how his grandson Jake let him stay in the dorm room with him when he traveled to Jake's college to see a basketball game. He was pretty amazed and proud that a college kid would want his grandpa around.
Like his dad, he had a beautiful garden and was always happy to give you any of its harvest. He also loved all animals - especially dogs. He had many dogs and he loved them and spoiled them. He and Gaby's last dog, Honey Bear, died about a month before he did but what a great life that dog had. I can imagine the happy reunion he is having with Honey Bear, Sophie, Roper and my dogs Bailey, Hanzo and Jack.
Jab seemed eternally young. He had blue eyes that looked at the good in the world and it's people. He was a small man, and his blue jeans never seemed to quite fit him. Gaby laughed at how she used to get his jeans in the young men section. He always seemed capable of anything and maybe we thought that he could overcome the cancer growing in his liver.
When Jab got diagnosed with liver cancer I know he was afraid but he took it in stride. Bruce and I got to spend a lot of time with him because they stayed with us when they came to the VA hospital here. I feel so lucky to have shared so much time with them in the past two years. We watched Jazz games, sat outside with the dogs, and talked about the good old days and how we felt lucky to grow up when we did and to grow up poor. We had different views politically, but Jab accepted mine and listened to my reasoning. He loved his country and believed one had to support the president, good or bad. He honestly believed that good would prevail. I agree with him there and hope he is right.
The last time I saw him was in November. He was going to come back in December but became too ill to make the trip and found a cancer doctor in St. George. We resorted to text messages and Face Book to talk every day. When I asked him how he was doing, he always said "I'm okay". I never heard him complain.
His text messages stopped coming as he became weaker. The last one I received from him said simply, "We will talk later, okay?" He died about four days after that last message.
When I got the call from his son, I did the only thing I could think of to do to honor him. I went running. As I ran, I thought of how maybe he did get back to Rockland after all. There are more of his friends and family where he was going than there would be in the town here on earth. I just hope there is good fishing in heaven and there is no limit on how much you can catch.
Love you Jab and I will miss you. The world will go on, but it will be changed because of your passing but also because of all you left behind. Thanks for being an example to all of us. Talk to you later.
Jab's real name was James Lynwood. He was named after his dad, my grandpa who was James Valentine, and also an older brother, James Wesley, who died when he was less than a year old. My sister and I probably are the only ones who still called him Jab.
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| Left to right: My sister, Barb, me, Uncle Jab. I don't remember the dog's name |
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| Left to right: Grandma Maxfield, Jab, his sister in law Delores, and me. He wrecked his brother Kenneth's car when he came home on leave from the Marines. I am not sure what Uncle Kenny thought of this. |
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| Left to right: Jab, me and Booie (Jab's older brother) at Jab and Gab's 50th wedding anniversary. |
Uncle Jab was around for a lot of my growing up years. He and his brother Booie were always very close. They even married sisters, which I thought was cool because all of their kids had the same cousins. Jab and his wife Gaby were married for 59 years and were a great example of being there for each other for better or for worse.
Jab was one of the funniest people I have ever known. He had a drinking problem, like many members of my family but later overcame it. He didn't try to hide it, blame anyone else or make excuses. Maybe, he believed we have to live through the things we do including our mistakes, to get where we are going. He was also very a very proud Marine - proud of having served his country.
Jab made the best of his life after he quit drinking. Actually I think he tried to make the best of his life always. He devoted his life to his wife, kids, grandkids and great grandkids. He was a good friend to many people, the kind of friend who made you feel good just being around him. He had a positive outlook and a wonderful sense of humor and was never without a joke or a story to tell about his youth and the things he did growing up in our little town. He loved that town and never forgot where he came from. He wanted to get back there one more time this summer to visit the hill where he grew up with one of his best friends, Will. But that was not to be.
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| Last trip to Rockland about 8 years ago. We were all sitting on Barbara's porch. |
Jab was always his own person. He wasn't perfect but he was honest and never tried to be something he wasn't. He accepted everything and everyone without trying to change them When he became a member of the LDS church which forbids the use of coffee, he continued to drink it anyway saying that if coffee drinking made him a bad person then he didn't want to go to that church. His bishop at the time conceded that it was probably ok if not overdone. I can't imagine anyone not liking him; like my mom, he could talk to anyone, stranger or friend, and make them feel like they mattered and they did matter to him. He seemed to be one of the few people who mastered the art of not judging others.
When my dad got in a car accident in the early 1960s, the ambulance took too long to come to get him so uncle Jab and Gaby drove him to a hospital that was 2 hours away - not worrying that he was bleeding from his head on the seats in their new car. Despite a depressed skull fracture, my dad survived and it was probably due in part to my uncle and my aunt.
Jab always had so much joy for life. He loved his grandkids and great grandkids and spent a lot of time taking them fishing and camping. His grandkids loved him too. He told me how his grandson Jake let him stay in the dorm room with him when he traveled to Jake's college to see a basketball game. He was pretty amazed and proud that a college kid would want his grandpa around.
Like his dad, he had a beautiful garden and was always happy to give you any of its harvest. He also loved all animals - especially dogs. He had many dogs and he loved them and spoiled them. He and Gaby's last dog, Honey Bear, died about a month before he did but what a great life that dog had. I can imagine the happy reunion he is having with Honey Bear, Sophie, Roper and my dogs Bailey, Hanzo and Jack.
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| Jab and honey bear. |
When Jab got diagnosed with liver cancer I know he was afraid but he took it in stride. Bruce and I got to spend a lot of time with him because they stayed with us when they came to the VA hospital here. I feel so lucky to have shared so much time with them in the past two years. We watched Jazz games, sat outside with the dogs, and talked about the good old days and how we felt lucky to grow up when we did and to grow up poor. We had different views politically, but Jab accepted mine and listened to my reasoning. He loved his country and believed one had to support the president, good or bad. He honestly believed that good would prevail. I agree with him there and hope he is right.
 |
| Jab also loved to cook. He made us a shrimp boil last summer. |
The last time I saw him was in November. He was going to come back in December but became too ill to make the trip and found a cancer doctor in St. George. We resorted to text messages and Face Book to talk every day. When I asked him how he was doing, he always said "I'm okay". I never heard him complain.
His text messages stopped coming as he became weaker. The last one I received from him said simply, "We will talk later, okay?" He died about four days after that last message.
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| This picture was taken about a week before he died. He still had the big smile. |
When I got the call from his son, I did the only thing I could think of to do to honor him. I went running. As I ran, I thought of how maybe he did get back to Rockland after all. There are more of his friends and family where he was going than there would be in the town here on earth. I just hope there is good fishing in heaven and there is no limit on how much you can catch.
Love you Jab and I will miss you. The world will go on, but it will be changed because of your passing but also because of all you left behind. Thanks for being an example to all of us. Talk to you later.
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