Dancing on this earth for a short while
I was out running with Toby when my phone beeped. I had a premonition of what the message would be and stopped, getting out a dog treat for Toby as I dug my phone out of my pocket.
“My dad died a few minutes ago” was the the message I received and unfortunately expected from my cousin Grace. Her dad was my uncle Booie. Bernard was his real name and I had no idea why he was called Booie - no one is left that I can ask anymore. Uncle Booie was one of my mom’s younger brothers - she had three younger brothers and now there is only one - my uncle Jab. I am not sure why he is called Jab either, Jim being his real name. You couldn't find two finer guys than uncle Jab and uncle Boo.
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| Me, Uncle Jab on the left, and uncle Boo on the right. |
When I was growing up, Uncle Boo was always a part of my life. He made me feel safe. He was a big guy to me as a little girl and was handsome and strong. I always thought he looked like Bobby Kennedy. Maybe he wasn’t really big but he had a big heart and seemed to never forget where he came from and his upbringing. He was a peacemaker and like my mother, a fixer. He always tried to make things better for people, especially his family and his mother. Later in life I would spend time talking to him about his growing up years and what he remembered about our little town and the people in it. I think we both shared a feeling of gratitude for growing up poor, but growing up loved and accepted. This seemed to allow us to adjust to the ups and downs that happened along the way to being a grown up and losing people we loved. We also shared the love of our small town and often talked about it.
I was proud as a little girl, when Marion Preiss, who lived on the main street of my little town told me “You look like your uncle Boo - you have his nice legs and teeth. Marion is gone now too but I can still see her sitting in front of the gas station she and her husband Skinny owned, watching the world. Now I can’t remember if Boo had the signature gap between his front teeth like I do and have passed on to one of my sons. When I am out running I think of uncle Boo’s legs and am grateful that I can run - if I do have legs like his, they have served me well and they seemed to have served him well too.
Boo worked at a power plant in Victoria a very small town about 5 miles from Rockland. Victoria was famous for that power plant, and a dam. Now it is a good place to find Thimbleberries in the summer and beautiful wildflowers. A few people still live there and some come and stay for the summer. Back when he and Elaine and his family lived there, only a dirt road that was like a washboard led to the town. On the way there, a bridge over the Ontonagon river often was where people fished and in the spring, watched the ice break and move out - one of the first signs that our long winters might be over.
Uncle Boo was close to my mom and helped her out a lot especially when my dad was hurt and could not work. After my dad died, Uncle Boo sent her money every month which she called her allowance. He and Eliane visited her whenever they came to town and their entire family came to her funeral which I am sure would have meant a lot to her. I later found out that she and my dad helped him out when he and Eliane first got married. Like Booie, my mom was loyal to her family and would have done anything she could for them, and often did, even though she didn't have much.
Boo cared about his family, living and dead, and sent money to my mom to buy flowers for the graves on memorial day. He made a point to visit his sister Margie whenever he was in town. She died just a few months before he did and I like to imagine the reunion he had in Heaven with his parents, brothers and sisters, two of his children and so many other friends and relatives.
As a kid I thought that my uncles, aunts, grandparents and parents would be around forever. I never considered that someday I would be part of the “elders” and they, and their history, would be gone and I would regret not asking more questions. It didn’t occur to me how really impossible it would be to keep everyone I loved around until once at the cemetery I looked at dates and realized my grandparents would be over 100 years old. Now I realize I have more relatives in the cemetery than I do in the town.
Even my strong uncle Boo would weaken and his big heart gave out. I talked to him a few times when he was at his daughter’s house receiving hospice care. We had differing political views but I knew he still loved me and I him. I told him that the last time we talked. He also told me “Whenever I want someone to talk to, and feel lonely, I think of your mom”. I like to think my mom came down and escorted him to wherever one goes - hopefully there is a Heaven as beautiful as what many people have more faith in than I do.
Oh very young, what will you leave us this time
You're only dancin' on this earth for a short while
And though your dreams may toss and turn you now
They will vanish away like your dads best jeans
Denim blue, faded up to the sky
And though you want them to last forever
You know they never will
(You know they never will)
And the patches make the goodbye harder still.
Oh very young what will you leave us this time
There'll never be a better chance to change your mind
And if you want this world to see a better day
Will you carry the words of love with you
Will you ride the great white bird into heaven
And though you want to last forever
You know you never will
(You know you never will)
Dance on, uncle Boo! Tell everyone hello for me.
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