the octopus sees the light
I am spending a few weeks in my little town visiting my sister and Siggie. Just for the hell of it I brought my brother a book on how to cure yourself of alcoholism. I haven't seen him sober since he was maybe 13 or 14 - at least not for any amount of measurable time. My parents, and my sis and I both have served as enablers over the years. My mom and dad are both dead (yeah I could have said "gone" but some smart ass would have said "gone where?"). Maybe out of a sense of guilt, my sister and I have allowed him to live in the house we bought for our parents a while back - we justify it by having to keep the place heated anyway. And we both talk about how our mother would come back and get us if we didn't take care of her baby boy. Even when our parents were alive, we would ask him to help out and he would say "What do you think I am, and Octopus? I am always on the job, 24-7.
Anyway I have adopted the attitude and words of the addiction series on TV. I am practicing the statement "I will continue to do anything I can do to help you get better, but I will no longer do anything to support your lifestyle the way it is". Last night I placed the book prominently at my mom's house (or more accurately, mine and Barb's house) on the sticky counter in the neglected kitchen whose floor hasn't been swept since I was there last May and the sink hasn't been cleaned since probably before that and in the cupboard there's a bottle of kesslers with mold on it....probably kept for emergencies. I don't know why he can't be like most alcoholics and just drink mouthwash, NyQuil or nail polish remover instead of moldy booze he must have found somewhere...who knew booze even got moldy?
The next morning, about 730, my teary, clean shaven, showered brother was knocking at my sister's door with a bunch of trilliums he had picked from the woods behind our old childhood house. "I am so sorry, for all that I have put you and Barb through all these years", he began. "I read that book you left for me and it has changed my life. I stayed up all night and cleaned up that house to make up all the times I was supposed to do it for ma and I didn't. I washed walls and scrubbed the toilet and cleaned the sink. I fixed both doors that I broke. I am going to the library to use the computer while the bread I mixed up is rising, and look for a job. I want to start paying my own way. I don't know how to thank you for all you have done for me....I am such a shit...I mean I remember that time I was late for a family dinner and Bruce offered to grill me some chicken and I got in his face and shook my fist at him and then drove off on the riding lawnmower and....I can't even think about what I put mom and dad through all those years. It's time for me to grow up and act like a man and make amends with my higher being - and all my old girlfriends. I think I will go find a Catholic priest and go to confession ....wait, we are Methodist aren't we? - well I think I will go find that curly headed Methodist minister who was in love with me and he will listen to me. I promise I will never drink again. Remember when I got the infection in my balls and I went to a cave and promised Johnny Cash and God I would give up smoking in exchange for not destroying the captain and the twins?" Well this book has had the same effect on me without having to go to a cave. Can you ever forgive me? I am also going to make enough money to buy you Christmas and Birthday presents for all the years I have missed. I am going to shovel your snow and not charge you and will tear down the rest of ma's old house tonight. I will fix all your snow blowers and lawn mowers I have broken and will go clean out your old garage after I visit the curly headed minister. And then I want to have you over for dinner.
My sister and I looked at him, stunned.
.....and then I woke up.
Anyway I have adopted the attitude and words of the addiction series on TV. I am practicing the statement "I will continue to do anything I can do to help you get better, but I will no longer do anything to support your lifestyle the way it is". Last night I placed the book prominently at my mom's house (or more accurately, mine and Barb's house) on the sticky counter in the neglected kitchen whose floor hasn't been swept since I was there last May and the sink hasn't been cleaned since probably before that and in the cupboard there's a bottle of kesslers with mold on it....probably kept for emergencies. I don't know why he can't be like most alcoholics and just drink mouthwash, NyQuil or nail polish remover instead of moldy booze he must have found somewhere...who knew booze even got moldy?
The next morning, about 730, my teary, clean shaven, showered brother was knocking at my sister's door with a bunch of trilliums he had picked from the woods behind our old childhood house. "I am so sorry, for all that I have put you and Barb through all these years", he began. "I read that book you left for me and it has changed my life. I stayed up all night and cleaned up that house to make up all the times I was supposed to do it for ma and I didn't. I washed walls and scrubbed the toilet and cleaned the sink. I fixed both doors that I broke. I am going to the library to use the computer while the bread I mixed up is rising, and look for a job. I want to start paying my own way. I don't know how to thank you for all you have done for me....I am such a shit...I mean I remember that time I was late for a family dinner and Bruce offered to grill me some chicken and I got in his face and shook my fist at him and then drove off on the riding lawnmower and....I can't even think about what I put mom and dad through all those years. It's time for me to grow up and act like a man and make amends with my higher being - and all my old girlfriends. I think I will go find a Catholic priest and go to confession ....wait, we are Methodist aren't we? - well I think I will go find that curly headed Methodist minister who was in love with me and he will listen to me. I promise I will never drink again. Remember when I got the infection in my balls and I went to a cave and promised Johnny Cash and God I would give up smoking in exchange for not destroying the captain and the twins?" Well this book has had the same effect on me without having to go to a cave. Can you ever forgive me? I am also going to make enough money to buy you Christmas and Birthday presents for all the years I have missed. I am going to shovel your snow and not charge you and will tear down the rest of ma's old house tonight. I will fix all your snow blowers and lawn mowers I have broken and will go clean out your old garage after I visit the curly headed minister. And then I want to have you over for dinner.
My sister and I looked at him, stunned.
.....and then I woke up.
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