My dad is whole
Today when I called my mom on the way to work she told me that she saw my dad. This is not good, since my dad died two years ago. She seemed to be of sound mind and I had read a lot of books about death and seeing dead people before you die (which worried me) so I said, in my most therapeutic voice:
"Was it a good feeling or a bad feeling? Were you scared?"
"It was a good feeling", she said. "He was whole. He had both of his legs (one leg had been amputated just before he died because of gangrene). I started to say something to him and then he was gone."
"What do you think it means?" I asked. I thought maybe he was coming to get her since many dying people report seeing dead people who perhaps are coming as escorts.
"I don't know. Maybe he wants me to know he is okay".
This whole thing is weird but who knows? One thing I do know is that my dad didn't do many thoughtful things for my mom while he was alive, and I suppose, being dead, he could have rethought all of his bad ways and was making amends. Or maybe my mom is losing it. She will be 80 on Sunday. I am going back to visit her tomorrow for a week - to be plunged back into weird family dynamics, where my sister and I do a lot of stuff for her (like buy her a house) and my brother just drinks and eats her food and acts like a teenager and gets all the credit.
I wondered if I should take something nice to wear in case my dad does come and fetch her? If I do it would guarantee that she wouldn't die while I was there. On the other hand, she would not care if I wore jeans to her funeral. Many people in that small town do. So I won't take anything but jeans and old running shirts.
I think it would scare the shit out of me if I saw my dad sitting in that kitchen!
"Was it a good feeling or a bad feeling? Were you scared?"
"It was a good feeling", she said. "He was whole. He had both of his legs (one leg had been amputated just before he died because of gangrene). I started to say something to him and then he was gone."
"What do you think it means?" I asked. I thought maybe he was coming to get her since many dying people report seeing dead people who perhaps are coming as escorts.
"I don't know. Maybe he wants me to know he is okay".
This whole thing is weird but who knows? One thing I do know is that my dad didn't do many thoughtful things for my mom while he was alive, and I suppose, being dead, he could have rethought all of his bad ways and was making amends. Or maybe my mom is losing it. She will be 80 on Sunday. I am going back to visit her tomorrow for a week - to be plunged back into weird family dynamics, where my sister and I do a lot of stuff for her (like buy her a house) and my brother just drinks and eats her food and acts like a teenager and gets all the credit.
I wondered if I should take something nice to wear in case my dad does come and fetch her? If I do it would guarantee that she wouldn't die while I was there. On the other hand, she would not care if I wore jeans to her funeral. Many people in that small town do. So I won't take anything but jeans and old running shirts.
I think it would scare the shit out of me if I saw my dad sitting in that kitchen!
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