my nurse face

I discovered my nurse face when I was a nurses aide in a small 22 bed hospital some 34 years ago. I first used it when I was asked to change a dressing on a woman who I knew...the mother in law of a lady I babysat for. She had had abdominal surgery and had an open wound that was oozing fecal material (poop, in plain English). It smelled horrible and none of the "real nurses" wanted to be bothered with it so they sent me, the lowly aide in nursing school, to do it. I remember looking at this woman who watched me carefully to see if I would show any revulsion. I decided then and there, to do whatever I had to do, but I would not gag or let her see any signs of how I was feeling (nauseated, horrified, and sorry for her all at the same time)- to allow her to keep her dignity and feel like a human being rather than a woman with poop coming out of her side. I don't know what we talked about but I cleaned it, redressed it, and cleaned her up. We sat and talked for a while and I left. I didn't take care of her again after but she sent me a note thanking me when she left the hospital.

One other time when I was a new ER nurse, a man brought in a little boy, about 6 years old, who had fallen on a trampoline. When I pulled the bandage off his face, his cheek was just about sliced away from the bone. I again put on my nurse face (after a few deep breaths, because what I was thinking was "holy shit, he ripped off his entire cheek) and said, "I think we can fix this". I remember how the little boy looked at me waiting to see my reaction - so did the dad. I think if I would have said what I was thinking, they both would have panicked. A good plastic surgeon came and fixed him and I am sure he has minimal scars.

Over the years, I have mostly stored my nurse face away, dusting it off only now and then, since I don't do much clinical . I did use the face a few times when my children were growing up.

"That's not so bad" I said to my son, knowing he would need stitches after falling on a sprinkler head.
"You don't look so bad" I told my daughter, who was covered in chicken pox.

As my parents, and inlaws aged, the nurse face was used more often. I remember seeing the panicked look in my dad's eyes when I told him his ear was bleeding and we needed to go to the doctor. He had had surgery the day before to remove a cancerous growth. "It's not so bad" I said, as I used a sanitary napkin to staunch the bleeding while we drove 45 miles to the hospital. I used my face when I had to help him bathe and when I had to convince my mother in law with Alzheimers to let me help her shower.

Today was one of the harder ones. I was sitting with my friend and running buddy Bob, who has ALS and cannot move his hands or arms, has a trach and a ventilator and a feeding tube. His wife had to run some errands so I was alone with him. "I have to go to the bathroom" he said. . The physical therapist (male) who was there, looked at me.

"Have you helped Bob with this before?" I said, hopefully. "Nope", he said, while making a quick exit. Bob looked at me wondering what I was going to do.

Putting on my nurse face and a pair of gloves, I said. "I can do it".

I knew this day would come. With my blue gloved hand, I placed his penis in the urinal. Bob looked apologetic. But I had on my nurse face - and I was humming something - hopefully not the song "It's only a wee wee so what's the big deal!"

The nurse face comes in handy. Or maybe it is just that we always find a way to do what needs to be done.

Comments

Anonymous said…
get a grip. oh wait, you already did. you do get that which needs to be done, done. well done.