New running shoes but bad clothes day

Today I ran 5 miles in new shoes that felt great. I then went to work wearing clothes that did nothing for my self image. Stuff like that happens sometimes and no matter how much I try to practice techniques discussed in the book The Secret I am not going to attract enough positive energy to make me not wish I had heeded the inner voice that said "don't wear that it makes you look fat". Thus, I attracted negative energy and acted like I looked fat all day! And if the laws of attraction are correct I possibly gained 10 pounds because I caused my body to excrete so much cortisol that my pants got tighter. And I walked hunched over and scowled all day. Some days are like that. But I did run. And I am about to go lift weights. Take that, laws of attraction! And the secret really is no secret - just written in a nice font with fancy paper and quoting a lot of folks who are vaguely famous - the chicken soup guy for example.

If you read this and forward it to 10 of your best friends, good things will NOT happen to you and you will NOT hear from someone you have been thinking of for a long time, at 6pm tonight. Tomorrow I will look beautiful in whatever I wear!