Father's day 2007

For the first time, I am without a dad on father's day. My dad died last August, and I miss him. So I join the many people who have no father to celebrate father's day with. I feel lucky though, to have had this father, through all the good and bad, for 81 years. Happy Father's day, dad. I love you.

The Eyes of My Father

I looked into the mirror and saw
The eyes of my father staring back
I suddenly saw all the things he saw
The happiness and sadness of my growing
And going.

I saw the times we went out into the woods
He with his lunch pail,
And I with my orange pop
Happily sliding down the fallen trees,
Wet and stripped of their bark

Sometimes on Sundays we would all go the farm
I was “just a girl” and wasn’t allowed to drive
A tractor.
But, I could sing a Finnish song and earn a dime.
It was about a pig being slaughtered in a sauna
Maybe that song was the reason I became
A vegetarian in college.

Soon I became too grown up and too busy
For the trips to the woods
My father tried to comfort me
During those difficult years when I was convinced
No one liked me.
We found the time to have breakfast together
I promised to buy him a four wheel drive
Someday

I remember my father’s eyes
After the accident
Looking at me, politely, his head in bandages.
He didn’t know who I was; I could see it in those eyes.
But he got better, and those eyes remembered me again.

Later I would remember those same eyes
The look of fear when I told him
His leg would need to be amputated
And that he would not be able to come home for a while
But both of us knew he never would

What other traits do I have?
Is it only his eyes? I hope I have more.
I hope I have his sense of humor
And his easy ways with people.
I hope I will be nice to the older folks
Like he was.

I hope I pass on more than
My father’s eyes.
To my own children.