Today is not that day.

My friend Suzanne and I both signed up to run the Salt Lake Marathon which was in April.  After she had what she thought was a knee injury, she decided to switch to the half (13.1) instead of 26.2, a full marathon.  I hung on to the illusion I could run the marathon until I realized I hadn't trained enough and that my nagging hip pain would not make it fun.  It was hard to admit I could not just go out and do it, just "tough it out".  With age comes wisdom and the ego backs down a little bit in favor of common sense.  Sometimes, maybe for a little while.

After you get to a certain age you just cannot up and run 26.2 miles without a lot of training. And training for a marathon gets harder and takes more out of you.    Having fun while running becomes more important than long distances and finishing with what one considers a "respectable" time".  The definition of "respectable times" becomes longer and longer as one's expectations reluctantly move to match reality.   I am happy to just be "out there" no matter the distance.  In my mind I am still running 8 minute miles with no pain afterwards, but reality reveals a different pace and I have a different body.  I am thankful though, every day I can run and sweat and enjoy this part of my day.

I respect the distance of a marathon and of a half marathon way more than I used to.  At one time I could just get up the morning of a marathon and be optimistic that I would finish and all would be well.  Now I get anxious the night before which leads to stomach pain and nausea and little sleep.  I question my motives in running long distances but yet I am not willing to give it up.

Just ten or 15 years ago, several cars would be parked in front of my house on Saturday morning - running friends of all abilities ready to tackle 6, 10, or a 20 miler.  Over the years this has changed just like most things in life.  One by one my running group has diminished until it is just me andToby (my dog).  Some running buddies have moved out of the neighborhood and some out of the city.  Some  have gotten injuries or illnesses that have caused them to give up something they used to love and take up aerobics or bicycling or yoga...all are good things but not much replaces the feeling of a good run in the various seasons.  

During the Salt Lake half, Suzanne and I were both contemplating, sometimes out loud, if we would run a marathon again.  My hip was bothering me and she had just been diagnosed with osteoarthritis in her knee.   We had a great run but it was not pain free and we both were feeling ambivalent and a little sad as we debated whether or not we would run the usual St. George this fall.  We decided to give ourselves a few weeks to decide.  It's a big decision to give up marathons, especially our traditional St. George in October.

I went out of town on a road trip for the next few weeks with my weekday running buddy Becky.  She and I had a similar discussion about running another marathon as our road trip took us through Wyoming, South Dakota, Wisconsin, Ilinois, Michigan and Minnesota where we were scheduled to run a 10k at Minihaha park in Minneapolis.  We talked about how we knew we could run more marathons but maybe we weren't motivated to train.  We never mentioned that maybe we were getting too old but I think we both thought that.

A few days before the race we had coffee with an old friend who grew up not far from my home town in Michigan.  Fast Eddie is somewhat of a legend in the Minnesota and Michigan area.  He is an Ultra marathoner and 77 years old.  Like many of us, he was nursing an injury - in his case it was sciatica which is painful and seems to linger.   However he was definitely not talking about giving up - he has an ultramarathon (a 48 hour race to see who can do the most miles) and the Twin Cities marathon in June.  He has run every twin cities marathon.

Fast Eddie was going to do the same 10K that we were doing.  He told us that this race was the first one he had ever done and it was still in his drinking days.  He's a recovering alcoholic.  He ran it with a hangover and he hasn't stopped running since.  He has never started drinking again either.  He gave up his drinking addiction for another one that is healthier.

As we drove away from the restaurant,  Becky said "If he can still run marathons, so can we".   We both decided to sign up for St. George, and this time. lose that extra ten pounds that no matter what a woman weighs, they have to lose.

The stamp of approval on our decision came at the race.  We both ran the 10K feeling great and with times that surprised us.  We still had it!

After returning home a few days ago, I ran with my friend Suzanne.  It was a beautiful spring morning and as we ran our 7 or so mile route, we decided it was not yet time to give up.   We ran a great run, and went home and registered for the 40th running of St. George.

Sadly though, My friend Suzanne's osteoarthritis worsened.  She got a second opinion and was told to take up hiking or biking.  She would not get to do St. George after all.  I will have to train for both of us and run and hope I can stay healthy.  My plan is to run it but if I don't it's okay.  St George was my first marathon and it may be my last.  We shall see.

Growing older is about loss.  Loss of our family, friends and our abilities.  We should learn to replace our losses with gratitude for what we still have.  And our losses don't take away from our past accomplishments.




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